I don’t hate you but I’m done. I am tired. Angry. Pissed off and to say the least, just plain disappointed. You were to be different. You were to be more than. But…. you are only you and I am only me. I deserve better! I know this. While I go thru the process to realize I deserve more once again… I reflect… I have been here before. I have hoped and dreamed and believed and expected. I am exhausted from the work of expectation. From the challenge of trust. From the desire for the dream to be a reality. I am alone except for MY God. That’s who was there when I took my first intake of air. His promise is to be there after my last exhale.

To my brother… I pray for your soul.


  1. I could have written these exact words, several times in my life.

    This sounds like a sad place to be. A lonely place. A painful place. But most of all, as you cling to the Lord God, this is a strong, courageous, and a very beautiful place to be.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Amen! It’s is a horrible place to be. “Lonely” doesn’t begin to even pierce the magnitude of the space that I occupy. If it was not for GOD! Seriously … if it was not for God!!
      Thank you for reading but more importantly I thank you for commenting and reassuring me that someone else has felt this way too. I find there is strength when someone else validates your experience. Thank you for THAT validation! 😊🙏🏽

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oh, I wish I could hug you now. Yes, I have been there, oh boy, have I ever! In a bottomless pit, a black hole of loneliness, that was me. I remember feeling like I was having emotional dry heaves, that would randomly come over me throughout the day and night.

        I did not think that I could stand it. I really didn’t. But with God, I made it through. Today, my life is full, content, very blessed, and never lonely. It amazes me that I can say that! My life was totally turned around, not overnight by any means, but slowly, day by day, step by step by step, as I sought the Lord’s will for my life, first and foremost.

        Liked by 1 person

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