Friday, July 29, 2011
Mirrors…mirrors are hard to look into sometimes…it’s one of the reasons I can’t always look directly into peoples’ eyes…it’s like a mirror…seeing what I see when I look in the mirror in their eyes is a big fear of mine…
I work hard so they don’t get the information I know about my past so they can’t judge me or feel pity…so I don’t have to see it in their eyes.
Mirrors and people’s eyes…they are the same…
Will they accept you?
Can they understand the feelings of fear or total doom that you felt as a child and how sometimes something can trigger that same feeling today?
Can they understand that you still know and carry some pain around with you…part of it comes from the comfort- as it’s what you know…some of it comes from the fear of letting it go and feeling positive feelings that you have always wanted to feel, but are afraid of finally feeling what you have so longed for.
Can they understand that you need someone to be there for you when you can’t tell them because you don’t want to come across as weak?If someone really loves you can they know about the abuse and accept you with all your flaws and insecurities?