Lessons I'm learning as a survivor · My experience

The Devil does wear Prada… they always do

Sunday, August 21, 2011
I am spending my Sunday catching up on my blogging: reading and posting. I have everything I need at my fingertips, coffee, comfy chair, cell phone and laptop and a movie running in the background for company … “The Devil Wears Prada”.. this movie quickly moved to the forefront.

It’s an outstanding movie featuring one of my favorite actresses Meryl Streep

Summary of movie: “In New York, the simple and naive just-graduated in journalism Andrea Sachs is hired to work as the second assistant of the powerful and sophisticated Miranda Priestly, the ruthless and merciless executive of the Runway fashion magazine. Andrea dreams to become a journalist and faces the opportunity as a temporary professional challenge. The first assistant Emily advises Andrea about the behavior and preferences of their cruel boss, and the stylist Nigel helps Andrea to dress more adequately for the environment. Andrea changes her attitude and behavior, affecting her private life and the relationship with her boyfriend Nate, her family and friends all to match the needs of Miranda. In the end, Andrea learns that life is made of choices.” As outlined on IMBD.com

For me “Prada”- in just a label for temptation- it looks good, it’s expensive, it draws attention, it is lavish, it glitters, its gold. It’s something you think you want.

Who’s wearing it? The Devil…someone dangling what you think you desire in front of you.

Now, what must you do to get to have what the Devil is offering or has?

Yep that’s the question. Are you ready for the answer?

It could mean giving up your soul….

That’s what happened. As a child it was required of me to go against who I was to get what I needed. I don’t think anyone ever sat me down and said “You will alter your attitude and behavior just to get x, y or z” No it was much more subtle. It was found in statements, actions, requests, manipulations and punishments. My being, desired so many different things, that I did what I felt I had to get what I thought I needed. This behavior continued into adult hood…

It is evident in so many parts of my life. From the decision to marry, to the way I’ve handled my professional life. Fast forward: I am an adult: Single mom. Must do and perform all the functions of mothering, raising a family, and functioning in society.

In the movie there are several examples of the main character Andrea being requested to do things that goes against what she feels is right. The bar was low at first and each time she completes another task for her boss the bar is raised. She completes the next task and the bar is raised again. All the while Andrea is changing to become someone that she is not. All to become and have things that she feels are necessary or that she thinks she desires. She loses her boyfriend and her friends along this process.

I’ve been there done that. Traded some very important things for what I believed was a need to stay employed: Long hours, going against the grain of my being, trading my values for the needs of the business. All the while changing and moving farther away from my soul.

I have made a conscious decision and effort to no longer get lulled to sleep by temptation of things that aren’t true for me. I am currently evaluating what I want and what speaks to my soul and how can I obtain that and what price, if any, I’m willing to pay. I’ve lost some very important things over the past year.

Lesson learned: Don’t change for anyone. We all have to do things on a daily basis that we don’t like. But when the changes are feeling like sacrifices. Relook at what you are doing. See if there is a better way or different way to accomplish while not losing your soul to the Devil. Temptation is the devils most viable tool. It can be emotional trade off, physical, or monetary that is the payment.

As a child my mother was representative of “The Devil”. As a child, one doesn’t know what they desire, everything is what you want and you will do everything to get it… but remember… you are a student of life at that point. As an adult “success as seen by someone else” was representative of my temptation. The difference in me now vs. me as a child, is I can choose. Change direction, if that’s necessary. Stop moving in the wrong direction. I am doing that these days. I put an end to being directed by the wrong things and have started getting back to basics. Much like the character in the movie, I suddenly woke up and did inventory of my life. I realized that I had changed to equate someone else’s expectations for my life and not my own. No more. “I am in control of my life. The Devil or anyone else can be wearing whatever they want. If it doesn’t fit me and MY picture of my life… then guess what? It doesn’t come into my life.”

Sounds wonderfully in control, right? Truth is, it’s a work in progress. Changing direction in one’s life can be traumatic. I am experiencing the trauma of this now. You have to learn to trust your inner voice, your feelings, your thoughts… You have to learn what a true feeling is for yourself and confirm that it is yours and not someone else’s. You have to learn what your truth feels like…and not allow outside influences to change your truth.

I’m learning what my truth feels like… I am a work in progress.

Thanks to the movie “The Devil Wears Prada”… I saw that my experience in not uncommon.

Can you relate ?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s